“New motherhood gives you an opportunity to embrace the chaos and know that you are doing the best you can, including in your sex life.”

Sarah J. Swofford

Many couples abstain from sex during the last stretch of pregnancy for fear of harming the fetus.

Once the child is born, some parents still do not dare to make love, for fear of feeling pain, in the case of the woman, and the man abstains for fear of causing pain.

As a result, there is a shared feeling of anxiety and guilt that fades away as soon as the doctor is consulted. It is important not to be embarrassed in front of the doctor, and to dare to ask about any concerns regarding sexual relations after childbirth.

Six weeks after delivery the vaginal mucosa is still weak and the uterus has not yet returned to its normal size and position. In addition, bleeding after expulsion of the placenta lasts 3 to 4 weeks. This is why the start of intimate relations varies from case to case.

  • Once the vaginal bleeding is over and, if the delivery was done normally and there was no incision in the perineum and vagina (a method that is sometimes done to facilitate the exit of the fetus), the time of sexual abstinence is approximately 2 weeks.
  • In the case of delivery by caesarean section, the chastity time is extended to 3 weeks. Although the period can be reduced if postures that prevent the man’s weight from falling on the woman’s abdomen are used.

Am I mentally prepared?

Despite the fact that after a period of time, the body is ready to have intercourse, the woman does not always feel up to it. This situation varies from case to case, as there are women who want to resume intercourse as soon as possible. It is a fact that mothers who breastfeed their children are usually the ones who show more interest in having sexual intercourse again.

The level of sexual interest new mothers have is not related to their age or the number of children they have.

Low sexual interest can have several reasons:

  • The newly delivered woman is overtired from the exertion of childbirth.
  • The baby’s schedule is not fixed and requires constant attention to breastfeeding, all of which causes physical and mental fatigue for the mother. In addition, there are cases where the newborn cries frequently throughout the night and gives no respite to their parents.
  • If there has already been postpartum intercourse and there has been pain, it is easy for the woman’s interest in having new contact with her partner to decrease. The pain may be due to unhealed perineal scars. Or, the tears in that area have become tightly saturated.
  • Fear of a new pregnancy may also be the reason for sexual abstinence for many women.

The best way to solve these causes of lack of sexual interest in women is to take some time, eat a balanced diet and seek information about the most appropriate method of contraception.

Is quarantine over? Sex after childbirth
Is quarantine over? Sex after childbirth

Contraceptive methods

The possibility of getting pregnant during the first month and a half after childbirth is very small, since there is practically no ovarian function. The onset of normal menstruation varies from case to case, but it should be borne in mind that breastfeeding delays this time. It should also be noted that women who have had previous children menstruate earlier than first-time mothers.

Before restarting birth control, it is important to know:

  • While breastfeeding, the method cannot be hormonal, whether it is oral or injected, as the hormones could be passed on to the baby through the breast milk. Women who are not breastfeeding, however, can use the method they were already using before pregnancy, once they have had their first period after giving birth.
  • The IUD (IntraUterine Device) should be used once the uterus recovers its initial size and place. It is recommended to wait until the end of the first period to implant it, because it is usually a heavy menstruation.
  • There is no problem using a condom after childbirth.

A consultation with a specialist will help you know when you can resume sexual relations and which contraceptive method will work best for you.


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