“Going gray is like ejaculating: you know it can happen prematurely, but when it does it comes as a total shock.”

Anderson Cooper

What is premature ejaculation?

Premature ejaculation is a disorder that occurs when, after orgasm, ejaculation occurs quickly and inevitably due to a lack of control over the ejaculatory reflex. The man cannot voluntarily control the moment when he wants to ejaculate.

What is meant by “too fast”?

It has been proven that men ejaculate, on average, three to four minutes after penetration. Obviously there are variations. The most important criterion for considering an ejaculation as premature is that it occurs before both partners desire it and that this factor causes problems in their sexual relationship.

How common is premature ejaculation?

Premature ejaculation is the most common sexual problem in men. Most will suffer from this disorder at some point in their lives, and it should not be considered a cause for concern. It only becomes a problem when it occurs during most sexual encounters. Scientific studies have shown that up to 40% of men suffer from this type of disorder with some frequency.

At what age does the problem usually appear?

Premature ejaculation can occur at any age, but it is more common in young men. This problem is more related to the novelty of the sexual experience (a new partner or a different situation) than to age per se.

What are the effects of premature ejaculation?

Persistent premature ejaculation can have very negative effects on the sexual function of both the man and his partner. Often the premature ejaculator complains of loss or decreased sensation during ejaculation, which can lead to loss of erection and loss of sexual desire.

This happens because the man is so preoccupied with trying to control his ejaculation that he fails to enjoy the sexual encounter. Often the man reduces the time for foreplay and, as a result, his partner feels under-stimulated.

The sexual act can also be painful because of the lack of lubrication of the partner and this fact can increase the existing tension and cause ejaculation even earlier. The impact on the woman would manifest itself in a decrease in pleasure and difficulty or inability to reach orgasm. The end result is a vicious circle in which the frequency of sexual intercourse is reduced and ejaculation becomes more and more rapid.

Premature ejaculation: What is it? Causes, effects and solutions
Premature ejaculation: What is it? Causes, effects and solutions

What are the causes of premature ejaculation?

It is very rare that premature ejaculation is caused by physical alterations or specific diseases, although recent studies have found physiological bases for this disorder, which will allow a better understanding of its mechanisms.

Most men experience premature ejaculations during their first sexual intercourse, partly influenced by the circumstances in which they occur. Men learn to control the speed of their ejaculations as their experience of intercourse increases and the environment in which they have sex makes them more confident.

The main causes of the inability to control ejaculation are anxiety, guilt, and fear of not being a good lover. All of these negative feelings are compounded by successive failures to control ejaculation, resulting in additional anxiety and frustration. Of course, any critical comments from a partner about this disturbance, even if not malicious, can greatly exacerbate the problem.

Do products sold in sex shops work to delay ejaculation?

The reality is that most of the products offered in sex shops or mail order stores have not been properly evaluated.

How can I overcome premature ejaculation?

Most men overcome premature ejaculation on their own, but some require the help of a specialist. First of all, a man should always discuss the problem with his partner. Some men find it possible to delay their ejaculations by increasing the frequency of ejaculations, for example, through masturbation.

You can also do simple exercises to gain control. These consist of stimulating the penis (either by yourself or your partner) for a period of time and stopping just before ejaculation. After a rest period of 30 to 60 seconds, stimulation is resumed and then stopped again just before ejaculation. This clinical stimulation exercise should be repeated five to six times before ejaculation is achieved (either by masturbation or during intercourse with your partner). The use of specific drugs also helps to overcome the problem.

What should I do if I can’t overcome the problem on my own?

You should consult your family doctor; he or she can help you or refer you to a specialist for medical and/or psychological treatment.

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