Frequently Asked Questions (FAQs)
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What is sexuality?
We talk about sexuality to refer to the way we each feel as men and women: the particular way we perceive the whole process of sexualization, on a personal level, and also the way we assume that we live in a world with men and women, all unique, different and peculiar.
What are sexual relations?
We call this the expression of our erotic sexuality, whether in the form of thoughts and fantasies or in the form of sexual behaviors. In sexual relations we share with the other the expression of our sexuality, we communicate sexually.
We can see eroticism as a form of communication through words, looks, gestures, caresses, erotic techniques, etc.. But this communication has its own characteristics, in it we express ourselves through our body in a special way, and also in a special way through our emotions. In it we can give very little or give ourselves totally, having experiences in which we forget ourselves.
However, sexual relations do not just happen. In reality, our eroticism is an art, a way of expressing ourselves that, like other modes of expression, requires us to cultivate it. It requires that we learn to express ourselves in the way that most reaches the other and in the way that we feel is most appropriate for ourselves. It is very important in the type of relationship that the erotic relationship is given, it is not the same if it is a sexual relationship within a stable couple well communicated, than in a sporadic relationship, than in a couple that is separating, etc… In addition we also have to think about courtship and sexual desire before the same sexual or erotic relationship, which would be the previous steps before sharing sexual responses.
We are a young couple who want to have our first relationship, what protection should we take?
The best method to avoid a sexually transmitted infection while avoiding pregnancy is to use a condom and have a good personal hygiene. If it is your first time, take your time, spend some time caressing and playing.
Do not worry if the first time is not “perfect”. You will learn the skills and knowledge of each other’s bodies over time. Don’t think about how you are going to respond, or if you are “doing it right”, but about those special moments you are experiencing. If at the moment of penetration, it hurts, don’t keep trying. Go back to caressing each other, kissing…, to relax.
What is the hymen?
The hymen is a thin membrane that partially covers the vaginal entrance. It varies greatly from one girl to another both in thickness and elasticity.
Is it bad to have sex during menstruation?
Not at all, there is no problem if you both want it.
Can very frequent anal penetrations cause excessive dilatation, and make the anus not return to its size?
Normally anal sex practices do not have to dilate the sphincter in such a way as to cause problems.
I have a very large penis and although I spend a lot of time in foreplay, it always hurts my partners, what can I do?
You should try positions where penetration is not deep. One of them is lying on your side facing each other, the woman puts her legs around his waist. Another is the so-called “mold position” in which both lie on their sides and the man penetrates the vagina from behind. This also allows him to caress her body. Make sure that the penetration is not deep.
What is the most appropriate position for making love while pregnant?
Try the position called “the mold”: The two of you lie on your sides and the man enters from behind. When both of you are on your sides, penetration from behind is easy and intercourse can be prolonged calmly and without haste.
Making love from the side allows for more body contact and plenty of room for caressing. It is also a very comfortable position to adopt in the last months of pregnancy when other positions cause a lot of pressure on the woman’s belly.
During pregnancy, and when the man is particularly large, the side positions with the woman facing outward are ideal, since in this way the man does not exert pressure on her. The problem with this position is the difficulty of full penetration.
Can I take the postcoital pill frequently?
Remember that postcoital treatment is for EMERGENCY USE only, and should not be used routinely. Use an effective method of contraception.
Will I suffer any side effects after taking the morning-after pill?
Occasionally you may experience discomfort from the treatment such as breast tenderness, abdominal pain, nausea and headache. These effects usually do not last more than 24 hours.
Can I take the contraceptive pill if I have liver disease?
According to the Spanish Medicines Agency, contraceptives are contraindicated in hepatopathies.
Is it normal that after giving birth, after the quarantine period, I do not feel like having sex?
It is quite common that after giving birth a woman goes through a period of reduced sexual desire. There are many causes: prolactin (a hormone that increases while breastfeeding) produces a decrease in desire, the new situation, less rest due to the care required by the baby, if there has been an episiotomy, the fear of discomfort?
The best thing to do is to talk about it and take it easy. Try to find some time to show tenderness and support for each other. Be patient and let her understand that it is beneficial for both of you to seek moments of intimacy (not exclusively sexual).
My wife has never had an orgasm in the 19 years we have been married, and she feels less and less like having sex. Is this normal?
I think you should consult a specialist. If your wife has never had an orgasm, it will become more and more difficult for her to have sex, since she will experience it as an obligation.
Sexual relations are important in a couple’s life and sexual adjustment problems end up affecting the couple’s life in general. Try to talk to her without pressuring her and see a sexologist.
Is it normal that after two years of marriage my husband has lost his desire?
The decrease in sexual desire has to do with stress, excessive fatigue, depressive states, and also with sexual routine. Hormonal and endocrine problems should also be ruled out.
Talk to him about the problem avoiding comments such as “you never feel like it” or “you just don’t like me anymore”. Try a loving communication, (you really care about him because you love him), and relive situations from the beginning of your relationship. Find time to spend together and surprise him on occasion.
Can penile incurvation cause an impotence problem in the future?
There are two types of penile incurvation, congenital, which appears from birth and the male notices it in the first erections, and acquired, which is Peronye’s disease. If the incurvation is present from birth, it will not cause impotence in the future. In any case, the specialist should evaluate the degree of incurvation, since severe cases make coitus difficult.
After ejaculation, how long is it necessary to wait to have a new erection?
There is no normal, logical or defined time. It depends on each person and several factors, such as age, mood, physical condition, attraction to the partner, or even the sexual activity being practiced. In any case, in general terms, the minimum time to have a new erection is 10 to 15 minutes.
Can anal sex cause pregnancy?
Technically it is not possible, because the rectum and the vagina are not connected inside the body. Instead, it can happen that the semen that remains outside the anus, goes down the perineum (the part that separates the anus from the vagina) and enters the vagina.
According to a study done in England, 8% of unwanted pregnancies occurred in this way, which is a significant figure. The use of condoms would also prevent such pregnancies.
Can a small penis give less pleasure to my partner?
Of course not. The size of a man’s penis has nothing to do with the degree of pleasure he gives his partner or feels himself.
During intercourse, the vagina adapts perfectly to the penis, whatever its size, without losing any sensitivity. Some sexologists even think that a small penis is better for anal sex.
What is sexual orientation?
Sexual orientation is a term used to refer to a person’s pattern of emotional, romantic and sexual attraction to people of a particular gender (male or female).
The most commonly known sexual orientations today are: Allosexual, Androsexual, Asexual, Bisexual, Bicurious, Bisexual, Demisexual, Fluid, Gay, Gynosexual, Heterosexual, Lesbian, LGBTQIA+, Pansexual, Pomosexual and Queer.
What is sexual identity?
Sexual identity could be defined as the awareness of sex that we are: male or female. This identity usually coincides and culminates in the process of sexualization, and although it is created in childhood, it is in adolescence when it makes its most profound difference.
Sexual identity has to do with what we are, the sex in which we recognize ourselves.
What is the difference between sexual orientation and sexual identity?
Sexual orientation is about who you are attracted to and who you are attracted to romantically, emotionally and sexually. It is different from gender identity. Gender identity is not about who you are attracted to, it’s about who you ARE: male, female, genderqueer, etc.
This means that being transgender (feeling that your assigned sex is very different from the gender you identify with) is not the same as being gay, lesbian or bisexual. Sexual orientation is about who you want to be with. Gender identity is about who you are.
Is it normal for a woman to want to masturbate every day?
There is no ideal frequency or “normal” number of times a woman wants to masturbate. It simply depends on the individual. The truth is, there is no problem with a woman’s desire to masturbate, even daily or several times a day.
Masturbation is not harmful. It is a natural, fun, healthy act, which provides a greater self-knowledge that will also benefit the relationship with the partner. For a woman, masturbation allows her to get to know the most sensitive areas of her body, to learn how to become aroused and to have an easier time reaching orgasm.
The woman who masturbates feels satisfied, knows her body and learns the rhythm she likes to follow, and will then be able to guide her partner. Only in some cases, in which masturbation replaces the relationship with the partner, should one begin to consider whether there is a problem behind it.
What are the risks involved in female masturbation?
There is no risk if proper hygiene is maintained. Most often women masturbate with their hands, caressing the clitoris, the vaginal lips, the area around the vaginal orifice, with one or more fingers, rubbing these areas to get excited in a progressive way.
Many women rub their genitals with a pillow or in the shower direct the water towards the clitoris. Others insert their fingers into the vagina while caressing the clitoris. As you can see there are several ways and it will depend on each person the way they do it.
What if the penis smells or tastes bad?
This problem can be fixed with a good shower and a good wash. To make the penis clean, it is necessary to carefully remove the skin of the foreskin, clean the entire area of the glans both above and below, and also the frenulum.
Use a special gel, very mild, and rinse the area with plenty of water. And if you are worried about germs, think that there are more germs in the mouth than in a clean penis.
How do you check the quality of condoms?
Never buy a condom that does not meet CE quality standards and the European standard UNE EN 600:1996. Manufacturers electronically control each condom during the manufacturing process.
They check for explosion by filling the condom with air, tensile strength, porosity and aging or expiration. The best manufacturers have quality controls with higher requirements to CE standards.
Is the condom a safe protection?
No contraceptive provides 100% protection, but the condom, used correctly, is one of the best protections against pregnancy, 90%. If you want to increase the protection you can use spermicidal condoms.
On the other hand, it is the safest method that exists against the transmission of sexually transmitted diseases during intercourse. In fact, it is the only contraceptive method that also protects against sexually transmitted diseases.
Can a condom break?
Despite the strict control and high quality of condoms, it is possible that they may break. This is due to careless handling, such as rubbing with fingernails, rings or sharp objects, or in cases of vaginal dryness (where lubricant should be used).
Is it normal to have homosexual fantasies, even if I don’t like people of the same sex?
In the world of fantasies everything is allowed, and it is not strange that both women and men have homosexual fantasies without this meaning that they really want to carry them out in reality or that their sexual orientation is changing.
I wanted to know what is the place of fantasies in a couple’s relationship and if it is possible to carry them out?
Fantasies allow us to enjoy our sexual life more intensely and are as much a part of our sexuality as our desires and our needs. You may want to share them with your partner, but you have to be very careful because you can make him/her feel bad. Think that the fantasy is your idea, that you give it form and that your partner may feel uncomfortable.
As for carrying them out, some of them can become a reality, but others cannot because you would end up with them. In any case, to carry them out, both of you will have to be sure and reach an agreement. Even mark the limits that you do not want to exceed.
Where does the verb “to fuck” come from?
It comes from the Latin word follicare (to blow), which in turn comes from follis (bellows). Follicare has given our language other words such as folgar, holgar and huelga. The verb follar, in its origin, meant to play or recreate; later it came to refer to the sexual act.
To refer to the same thing we also use fornicar, a word that comes from fornices, the bridges under which Roman prostitutes used to stand waiting for clients.
What is the morning-after pill?
The morning-after pill is not a contraceptive method but an emergency remedy. It is a combination of hormones that alters the female reproductive cycle, preventing pregnancy, if it has occurred, from being carried to term. The “morning-after pill” works by inhibiting ovulation and preventing fertilization. It is almost 100% effective when taken within 24 hours after unsafe intercourse.
This medication lacks the undesirable side effects of contraceptives commonly taken to prevent pregnancy. Emergency contraception should be administered within 72 hours from the time of the risky intercourse (i.e. without any protection). After this first dose, another dose is administered 12 hours later. It can only be administered with a doctor’s prescription.
How effective is the morning-after pill, and is it a good regular method of contraception?
It is useful with an efficacy of around 90% of cases. It is not recommended as a regular contraceptive method. It should be considered as an EMERGENCY method only, that is to say, to be used exceptionally and in unforeseen situations.
The ideal is to use other more effective methods, to know them talk to your doctor, he will advise you or refer you to a family planning center.
How can I get the morning-after pill?
When you need it, you should visit your doctor, a family planning center or a gynecologist’s office as soon as possible. Since the end of September 2009, the morning-after pill can be dispensed in pharmacies without a prescription.
This consolidates the pharmacist as a point of reference for providing information on the correct use of this medication.
How is its effect felt, does it have negative side effects?
The next menstrual period may come normally or may be a few days early. However, if it is somewhat delayed, a pregnancy test should be performed, as it is possible that pregnancy has occurred. There are hardly any side effects. If they occur, they are mainly due to poor tolerance (vomiting or diarrhea).
