Faking it
The best thing about an orgasm is that they can happen both when you are solo or in good company! Of course it’s not always guaranteed that you’re going to have one, and many women
Many different studies and surveys say that almost all women have faked an orgasm at some point in their sex lives; it is relatively easy for women to fake it, but many men also find their way around the problem if they feel embarrassed to admit they cannot reach orgasm.
Probably the best-known “faked orgasm” was performed by Meg Ryan in the movie “When Harry met Sally”. Who hasn’t watched that famous scene?
Most of the time we do it for our partner’s sake, more than for ourselves. We do it because we don’t want to “make them feel bad”, “because the sex isn’t great and the sooner I get it over with, the better”, “so he doesn’t feel disappointed”.
The problem is that nothing will change in your erotic relationships if you don’t feel able to say or express what you like and what you don’t like in bed, what you enjoy and what inhibits you. What’s more, if you settle for this, it’s highly likely that your sex life will be affected sooner or later, as you will feel less desire overall and will have less sex, leading to problems in your love life.
Coming together
The same will happen if you believe it is important to have simultaneous orgasms with your partner. Remember that men and women have different rhythms of arousal – in fact, the entire sexual response is different for each sex – and this makes it difficult for our orgasms to coincide. If it happens, great!, but don’t try too hard to make it happen and don’t let it affect you because the only thing you are guaranteed to get is frustrated with your own sexual performance.
Other questions that we might ask ourselves when it comes to the topic of orgasms is whether every orgasm is the same, or if we all feel the same when we experience an orgasm.
All too often, lovers feel that an orgasm is the be-all and end-all of great sex, not just for ourselves but also for our partners, as they think it is a sign that sex was “complete”. Nothing could be further from the truth. Naturally, reaching orgasm is highly desirable (excuse the pun), but we can’t rate the quality of a sexual encounter based exclusively on the number of orgasms we have, or on the complexity of the bedroom acrobatics we have to perform to have them. In fact, our sexual satisfaction is measured by the emotional satisfaction we feel.
No two orgasms are the same
Orgasms not only vary from person to person, but how we experience it and their level of intensity varies from person to person and their particular circumstances: how you are feeling that day (physically and emotionally), the sexual situation that led you to have sex, whether you are with a partner or alone, your hormones and where you are within your menstrual cycle, whether you love your body or not, and a long list of other factors. Therefore, there are no clear-cut guidelines when talking about your ability to reach orgasm.
Some people have underlying problems that make orgasm impossible, and we will deal with these issues in other articles.
